28th December

Completed morning program. Visited Punjab National bank. Spent 2 hours in the chambers. The chamber is not humming with life due to scant attendance of advocates. Most of them are on holidays. KTS is in Palace on Wheels. The palace has taken him and his friends to Varanasi,Khajuraho and perhaps now to Agra instead of to places in Rajasthan, for which booking had been done. The train was diverted to Varanasi circuit due to blocking of Railway line by Gujjars in Rajasthan. Visited Hanuman temple on Vinay Marg, Chanakyapuri way back home. Sheomohan has come.
Retired to sleep at 10pm.

27th December

On 27th completed morning program. Visited Safdarjang hospital and met Dr.Arora, urologist and showed him all the reports including ultrasound report. He said no medication was required. Met the Dental surgeon. Spent 1pm-4pm in the chambers. Arranged Railway reservation for Sheomohan to come from Fatehpur in Prayagraj today. Spoke to Sh. Rai, SP Railways, Allahabad, in this connection. Sh. SK Dutta, Ex Director CBI, is publishing his Memoires. Some portions of it are published in the Indian Express today. He talks of political maneuvering in Sayeed Modi murder case and in Anderson's extradition case.It will be interesting to read the Memoires. Retired to sleep at 11.30pm.

24th to 26th December

On 24th visited Precision Dental center at Sarita Vihar for a dental process. Attended chamber from 1pm-4.45pm. Venita is to go to Allahabad to participate in the engagement ceremony of Anand, younger son of my younger sister on 5th February,2011. Had to buy ticket for her to go on 3rd February and return on 6th February. She also proposes to have a dip at Sangam in this cold winter as she thinks a dip in Sangam in the month of Magh is auspicious. I am not accompanying her.Bought ticket for both of us to go to Allahabad on 4th March for the marriage on 5th and reception on 6th. On 7th March we will come to Fatehpur for a week long stay & return New Delhi on 14th March. On 25th heard the Christmas message of Queen Elizabeth broadcast by BBC. Curiously she wished that all of us should play games as these developed a camaraderie & mutual cooperation which are lacking in society these days. Also heard the message of the Pope. He also said that Christians should fight out persecution in Iraq and China. It was a very cold day, cloudy and hazy. Today is the birthday of Jesus Christ, who was crucified for standing up for values against the tyrannical Roman King. On 26th attended lunch hosted by MD Asthana, in connection with wedding reception of his son at IIC fountain lawns. MD was my batch mate and later he got selected in IAS. Met a number of other batch mates and acquaintances. There is a fountain in IIC but the lawns are not well maintained. Retired to sleep at 11.15 pm.

22nd to 23rd December

On 22nd could not go for walk. However I completed Pranayam, asans and other exercises. Took Venita to Center for Sight for OCT of her both eyes. Dr. Talwar said that there was improvement and desired us to come again after 4 weeks for OCT of both the eyes. Spent time from 1pm to 3.25 pm in the chambers. Venita went to Dilli Hat. Neha and Babua also came. All of us met at Dilli Hat. On 23rd visited RML hospital for the Angiography of Venita's eyes. We also went Tanisque CP and South Ext. shops thereafter. Retired to sleep at 11.40 pm.

16th to 21st December

On 16th could not stick to the daily program. Had to leave for RML hospital for Venita's eye test. Dr. Mridul was instructed by Dr. AK Aggarwal to get it done. Dr. Malik of RML saw her eyes and recommended OCT and FFA. These are scheduled to be done on Tuesday next at 9am. Spent over 3 hours in the chamber and Venita went shopping. She likes shopping. It is said about chronic shoppers that there is a vacuum somewhere in there personality which they try to fill-up with shopping. On 17th Pilku came by Kingfisher flight no. IT-2 at about 11.25 am. Prasads came to meet him and all of had early dinner. They left at about 8 pm. After noting the reactions of the boys to the Will circulated to them I have decided to give equal share in the flat I own at Vikaspuri. We will have to revise the Will accordingly. Pilku stayed the whole day and night and we had a hearty chat after a long gap of time. On 18th Pilku went to office at about 10 am and from there to Gurgaon to meet Bablu and Silku and returned at about 10.30 pm. Driver Thapa is going on leave from tomorrow. I have engaged another driver Suresh from 14th December to take his place. He is being guided by Thapa about driving and general behavior.On 19th Pilku had to stay back at New Delhi due to cancellation of his flight to London. The Heathrow Air port is closed due to heavy snowing. I noticed that Pilku was not happy with it. He had to do lot of work during the current year which would now become pending unless he could go at least tomorrow. Sachin scored his 50th test century. On 20th Pilku left for London by Air India at 2.50pm. Today is his birthday also. We proposed to celebrate it. But he was keen to go back. Venita accompanied him to the Airport. I got my two half broken teeth extracted at the Precision Dental center in Sarita Vihar as well as capping of one tooth. Also visited Bablu in his office in Shanti Niketan and gave him a packet containing a jacket of Pilku to be given to Silku for change as it was not fitting him. On 21st visited chamber from 12.15-3.15 pm. The eye test of Venita was postponed to 24th at 12.30 pm. Dr.Mridul had given a telephone call.
Retired to sleep at 11.30 pm.

14th & 15th December

On 14th visited CGHS for Venita's medicines. Spent about 4 hours in chamber visited Pravesh.Snacks with tea offered by him upset my stomach. On way visited Hanuman Temple. On 15th attended a lunch in Palm court club in Gurgaon. Food was excellent. Subhash had invited for it to celebrate the birthday of his grandson.Curiously I was surprised to see at least about 20 couples. When I asked his son about so many people attending lunch on a working day, he informed that all of them were retired people and mostly ex railway officers known to his father. I went because Venita could not go due to sickness.I skipped court and chamber work for the day. Due to a bad stomach I did not take dinner and slept off at about 5.30 pm and got up at 3 am next day. In the lunch met Subhash's maternal uncle who was the then Joint Secretary of MHA after a long gap of time. He is 78. The railway officers have a good network of get together and meet each other often by rotation. I cannot think of such a situation in regard to any other service. None else socializes so much even after retirement as the railway officers do. It is a good thing and we should meet like them regularly.

13th December

Completed morning program. Visited GPO to drop new year cards as well as birthday greeting cards to Pilku and Ruchi. Visited Escorts hospital to collect the reports prescribed by Dr.Arora(Urologist).The reports are normal. The Uriflow report shows some deficiency but the experts say that it is alright and normal keeping in view my age.Visited Precision Dental Center at Sarita Vihar for extraction of two broken teeth as well as crowning of one which has been root cannaled. Paid Rs.1800/- for ceramic capping of the tooth. The dentist took the print of the tooth to prepare its crown.Spent over 3 hours in the chamber for professional and personal work.
A friend met me a few days back and said, "Despite taking care of my wife, Aarti, I could not change her nature.I'm in early 60's,as you know, but she is scathing. She humiliates me particularly in front of her blood relations. All her relations listen her with amusement, but none objects. She is very convincing in telling a lie. She also humiliates my blood relations. She did not spare my father too. Once she humiliated him also quite badly. I could not imagine the way she did it. My father did not even complain of it to me. I came to know from another source. I, however, did not check with my father. I wish I should have. I cannot now as he is no more. Now when she misbehaves I don't react. I keep mum. There is no other way I can deal with her."
After listening to my friend I told that he was following the right course. It was not possible to divorce at this late stage and in the Indian context. My friend was feeling light after talking to me his heart. I told him that he could talk to me anything to release his tension. It is better to talk than to keep it to yourself.
Read the interview of a Sufi singer in the Indian Express of today, supplement 'Eye', in the last page. He said that spirituality to him was oneness with the universe. Once we realized it and serve others as much as we can, the screen between us and God would go.Then we would see Him.
Retired to sleep at 11pm.

10th to 12th December

On 10th completed morning program.Visited CGHS to take approval for Venita's eye tests.
Visited SBI.Visited Khan market.Spoke to Pilku to give only cow's milk to children. Talked to Shanno to give at least 4 liters of water to Gopalji.It was a touching moment to watch the ceremony of Nobel peace prize being given to Liu Xobei of China in Absentia.Talked to Sanjaya regarding cheques. Akhand Ramayan started today in the temple. On 11th visited district center to buy some New Year cards. Visited Jail road for repair of steel table. Barun rang up about MSM test in AIIMS. Spoke to Bitti. On 12th Venita went to South Delhi for work. It was interesting to read Wikileaks regarding congress strategies to appease the minorities by invoking conspiracy theory in connection with 26-11 terrorist attack in Mumbai. Abhishree rang up and desired to visit Kaziranga. I said she could visit anytime from October to March.
Retired to sleep at 10.30 pm.

9th December

Completed morning program. Visited Babloo's office and met him. Later visited CGHS and collected medicines and applied for permission for OCT to Venita. Visited Escorts hospital for ultrasound of KUB, other blood and urine tests as also uriflow test. Venita is organizing Akhand Ramayan on 10th in the temple. Collected four flower garlands which had been paid for by her for the occasion. She spends over 3-4 hours in the morning and 3-4 hours in the evening in various activities in the temple.
Retired to sleep at 10pm.

7th & 8th December

On 7th visited Safdarjang hospital & collected endorsement of tests of Venita's eyes. OCT,Angiography of both the eyes is required to be done.Visited CGHS & collected permission for dental processes & medicines.Mr. Chistya came & handed over a new case.I have given it to Smt.Priyanka Aggarwal,Adv. of the chamber,to deal with it. The dental process has to be done by Dr.Kumar of the Precision Dental Center, Sarita Vihar,New Delhi at 4.30 pm tomorrow.On 8th Venita had to go to Gurgaon to escort Neha to the Indian Spinal Injuries Center,Vasant Kunj,New Delhi.Dr.Rehtab Kumar,orthopedic & Dr.Sriram Garg,Rheumatologist examined her & opined that she had a kind of Arthritic spondalitis.They have prescribed some medicines for a week.I had to stay back at home and worked from there.The appointment with Dr.Kumar for dental processes is postponed to 4.30 pm on 13th December.
Retired to sleep at 10.30 pm.

6th December

Completed morning program. Visited Safdarjung hospital for approval to certain eye tests of Venita.The big security arrangements were on the ground in the hospital.The wife of French President Sarcozi, Bruni was visiting. The CGHS has not upgraded its computers with the new list of hospitals and clinics as per the memorandum dated 7th October. There was a group photograph in the chamber for the new year card. Visited Mr.Swain to condole the death of his wife.
I liked the following statement of Sh.Prasanna Rajan in the latest issue of India today," The politics of Social justice has already passed the empowerment stage, and reached the enrichment stage. It is still work in progress and fallen Raja is unlikely to make any difference".
Retired to sleep at 10.30 pm.

3rd to 5th December

On 3rd visited CGHS and collected Venita's medicines.Visited SBI.KTS dropped in & asked me to join in lunch with my tiffin. I joined. Visited AIMMS along with Barun to consult Dr.Dogra.His MSM test is organized tomorrow.Dropped him at bus stand on way to Noida.On 4th Visited Balaji dental clinic.Could not undertake dental processes as the address of the Balaji dental clinic was wrongly mentioned by the CGHS. Barun could not go for tests on Friday,the 3rd December.Now it will take place on the 10th. Pravesh and Vikash rang up.On 5th Swain's wife died.She was suffering from intestinal cancer. Venita visited his house.Sh.Swain was in the policy division as PA to AIG(P),my staff officer when I was JD policy.
I saw a news report in the Times of India dated 5th December. It enumerated different reasons to prove that Delhi was far from being a world class city. Some of the reasons are stated below :
1. Everyday life is chaotic and on the edge.
2. Traffic bottelnecks, power cuts, water shortages in summer are common.
3. The deficit is not only for the physical infrastructure, it extends to school admissions, health care and basic need, that is, security.
Retired to sleep at 10.30 pm.

2nd December

Completed morning program.Visited Dr.AK Agarwal.He endorsed Venita's previous medicines for another 4 months and increased the potency of one drug.Collected approval from CGHS for my dental processes.Dropped Venita at Dilli Hat.Picked her up at about 3pm & met Bablu on way home.Reached Vikaspuri at about 5.30pm.Bhawna & Rashmi rang up. Talked to Barun about his appointment with Dr. Dogra on 4th Dec.I will try to be present along with Barun if possible.
Retired to sleep at 10.45pm.

1st December

Completed morning program.Today is the birthday of Bablu.Wished him in the morning. He was jogging at that time. Venita visited him and participated in the celebration. I could not go. She also visited Silku's house to look up Khyati & Alenah.Venita dropped me in my chamber and went to Gurgaon. Discussed a new case with Raj. Took an easy cab back home.It charged a sum of Rs.20/- per kilometer. The total fare was Rs.520/-. Earlier it used to be around Rs.255/-. Neha sent me cake which was delicious. Retired to sleep at 11pm.

Daughters-in-law

Much is written about daughters-in-law & relationship with their in-laws. The general impression is the same all over the world.There is a certain amount of distrust/dislike among them. So far as we are concerned, we have told our sons to go along the wishes of their wives vis-a-vis us.We feel we should not be the cause of discord among our sons and their wives . It has worked quite well and they are living happily. Of course all of us have stresses & strains in marital relationships but these are overcome and life goes on.We as in-laws should intervene only to restore marital happiness & cohesion among our sons & their wives without being over-bearing & imposing.For example,when we notice that a son is to break-off from his wife due to some reason or the other, we should intervene so that the marriage goes on and there is no break-up. It has to be done in the most unobtrusive way to avoid hostile reactions of one or the both. Luckily my 1st and 2nd son have daughters only. They won't face this problem. But my one son who has a son should be prepared for such an experience. I hope he will keep my advice in view in the interest of happiness of the entire family.
We should deal with daughters-in-law as daughters-in-law and not as daughters. The status of daughter-in-law is a status which invokes respect in the same way as the status of a son-in-law does in the home of his wife. We sometimes commit mistakes and start expecting the same from daughters-in-law as we expect from our daughters and problems start.

30th November

On 30th collected Venita's investigation reports from City X-ray,Tilak Nagar.Sent Will/Wish to Pilku,Silku and Bablu for their comments yesterday.None has reacted so far.I wished happy birthday to Bablu on 1st December,2010 & inquired of the Will/Wish.He had not yet seen them.I told him to go through & let me have his reaction.As far as Bablu is concerned,I think he should endorse the Will as it is tilted in his favor.Parmarth Niketan informed that the trip to Mansarovar-Kailash is likely to go in 2012 and not in 2011.I requested them to consider and include us in the trip in 2012.On way back from office visited Hanuman temple on Vinay Marg in Chanakyapuri, where I used to visit on a regular basis on way back from the walk in Nehru Park.
Retired to sleep at 10.30pm.