29th September

Venita's eyes were checked at the Center for Sight. She has been again called after 7 days for a check by Dr. Dinesh Talwar. I asked Dr. Dinesh Talwar as to how long we would keep on coming for checkup and injections. We have already been coming to the center for over 21 months and she had 3 injections in her right eye. It is quite painful. I suggested to Dr. Talwar that professor VS Gupta of Safdarjang hospital had suggested another injection. Dr.Talwar named (I can't spell the name)it and said it was not so good. He further said that Venita might have to come there for her entire life, that she was young (I told him she was 61.He told that at least she could hope to live for another 20 years, if not more) and that she would surely like to keep whatever vision was left in the right eye. I told him whether there was some other technology besides laser correction which he was presently using in the eye. He said there was none. We felt a bit depressed. We would now go to Shroffs, another well known name in consultancy relating to eyes. I also got my eyes tested by Dr. Dinesh Talwar. I have shown my eyes at Venu eye institute earlier besides to Dr. Lalwani of Safdarjang hospital.Venu eye institute and Dr. Dinesh Talwar suggested removal of cataract from my left eye. He referred me to Dr. Mahipal singh, CMD , Center for Sight, a specialist in cataract procedure. Dr. Mahipal Singh also suggested removal of the cataract from the left eye 1st and later from the right eye also.At present it was not necessary to take out cataract from the right eye. It may follow the left eye. Dr.Lalwani however suggested that no surgery was required as long as my vision was alright. He said he would see my eyes again after 6 months to review his advice. 6 months are already over. I will have to show the eyes to him again. In the mean time when I take Venita to Shroffs I will also show my eyes to them. I am told Shroffs are two brothers: one specializes in cataract procedure and the other in retina. I had to pay Rs.800/- to Dr. Talwar for showing my eyes as the permission from CGHS did not cover his consultation.
Due to CWG at DLTA the Center for Sight also had to face restrictions in parking of vehicles. Lot of policemen were there. Thapa had to park the car quite at a distance. We walked about 300 meters to board the car after the procedures at the center. While Venita went to Juri's place to look up her daughter born one year back, I came to the chamber for professional work. Juri is the elder daughter of Sh. Madan Bezbaruah. She has all the qualities of her father and none of his imperfections. 27th September was the 1st birthday of her daughter. She also has a son who is about 4 year old. She is PHD from an UK University, probably London University. I am not sure about it. Her father is my batch mate and a retired IAS officer. Our children and his children have grown up together when they were about 4-6 year old and are quite friendly to each other. Retired to sleep at 11pm.

28th September

On 28th Venita was given another Avastin injection. It is the 3rd one. Quite painful. But there is no alternative. Dr. Talwar said that we have to continue like this to save the eye. Or we can leave it. Then whatever little vision she has in the right eye will go. He called her for a check on 29th. The Center for Sight is located near the Delhi Lawn Tennis club, where CWG are taking place. Consequently in a part of the road near Bikaji Cama place and Safdarjang enclave,there are traffic restrictions and if you jump to the Commonwealth games lane they fine you Rs.1000/- minimum. About 400 people have been so fined in different parts of Delhi for jumping into the CWG lane. Now I am told that they can straight way send you to jail for violating this traffic restriction.I don't know how they can do it without making this traffic offense non bailable. As far as I know no traffic offense is non bailable. Chistya came and gave Rs.10,000/-. I told him to go to Sh. Atiar and give the money to him for filing his case in the court. The case could not be filed for non payment by him for a long time. He agreed to pay the balance of Rs. 5,000/- shortly. He also agreed to pay a sum of Rs. 5000/- to Sh. Kuber as now he has to go to Saket, where his case is transferred from Tis Hazari courts. Earlier it was easier for Sh.Kuber to go to Tis Hazari court from the Patiala house court or High court/Supreme Court. Now the court in Saket in a diffrent direction & he has to drive to Saket, some extra miles.Gave Khyati's photographs to Sh. DM Sharma at Yashwant place. Venita went back home after the Avastin injection. I followed her after professional work in the chamber. Retired to sleep at 11pm.

24th to 27th September

On 24th went to Ajit Opticians for the repair to the specs. The office of DM Sharma is at Yashwant place.Gave him Khyati's form for passport. Venita wanted Dasavatar (10 incarnations of God) for the temple in the society from Lapakshi, which is Andra Pradesh Govt. emporium. These are made on the wood and adequately painted and look good. The entire group of Dasavatar cost about Rs.1,800/-. Bought some banana chips fried in coconut oil from Kerala emporium nearby. Read the review of Keith Jeffry's M16 : The history of secret intelligent service 1909-1949 in different papers. I am appalled to know that Somerset Maughum, Graham Green, Arthur Ransom, were staff members of secret service M16. Comton Mackenzie, Malcolm Muggerdge & philosopher AJ Freddie Ayer were the many exotic characters who agreed to spy for Britain and have been revealed in the book. The book also points out that semen was used as invisible ink. It would not react to iodine vapor. On 25th attended a party in continuation of Babua's birth celebrations at Gurgaon. It had been postponed due to absence of Bablu, who was in Helinski on 15th September, the birth date of Babua. Today he has returned early morning. There were about 25 persons in the party besides 7-8 children. Silku and Khyati, Sunita and her family came. Others were the families known to Neha & Bablu. Babua was extremely excited. He was all the time carrying 3 knives and 2 tiny candles in his hands since morning for cutting the cake and lighting the candles. He got a number of gifts. All the people were from the private sector. I saw Yash, son of Tunu and Gauri for the 1st time. He is just like his father. The snacks were stale and there was an apology of Barbeque. The vegetarian soup was tasteful but had a little more salt. The food was by & large good to eat. I won't say it was delicious. The booking was for 35 persons. But less than 35 came. We had to pay charges for 35 which were a little over 10,000. On the whole it was a lively party. The approach to the restaurant, a little over 2 kms, was in bad shape and bumpy. In fact it is a sorry sight to see bad roads lined by beautiful multi-storey buildings. The cake was egg less. It was cut by Babua with the help of Khyati, his cousin sister. Khyati gave 1st bite to Babua and I gave next bite to him and to Khyati. It was quite tasty. I think cakes with eggs are tastier. Khyati was jumping around. She will be 9 on 10th October. Subhash could not come. Barun and his family did not come. All others invited came except Priyal and her family, a good friend of Neha & her mausa and his family also could not make it. Priyal has bought a house near the restaurant for Rupees 2.5 Crores recently in a posh area. But the road to it is in horrible condition. Silku looked alright. Both Bablu and Silku need to exercise to knockout their fat. On 26th talked to Pilku and Ruchi. Abhishree is going out in a school trip for a week and is being trained to prepare sandwiches and her bed. Pilku is helping her. He was to go to New York and Washington. He has postponed it and in the mean time deputed another officer in his place. Sh. KK Saxena left for Jaipur after a stay of over 15 days with Neha. On 27th attended a musical program in the SSB mess in RK Puram. Thapa is sick. Met Sh. Rao, DG SSB also. Had to postpone appointment with Shroffs, eye specialists, today for showing Venita for a second opinion on her right eye as I could not undertake visit to South Delhi twice. The appointment was in the morning and musical soiree in the evening. Retire to sleep at 11pm.

22nd & 23rd September

On 22nd collected medicines from CGHS. Visited SBI for work. Read the review of "Freedom" by Jonathan Franze. He makes 2 points.
1) American culture is over obsessed with personal freedom.
2) He portrays an America where people are unhappy and spiritually stunted.
I liked the following writeup of Sh. Sunil Jain, in Indian Express, dated September 22nd at page 10,"India has a long way to go, and various systems are in a mess, whether in public health care or education. But let us not be so hard on ourselves by 1st world standards to 3rd-2nd world income." Everybody was critical of Sh.Bhanot of the organizing committee of CWG 2010, when he said that our standards of hygiene and cleanliness may not be the same as those of western nations. But I think he was sounding what Sunil Jain said in his aforesaid writeup. On 23rd collected medicines from CGHS and visited SBI for work. In a writeup in the Indian Express today, it is said that in democracies it is difficult to put certain number of people in one direction & that we are not working on our strengths. Rather we are waiting for China to fail on their weaknesses.
Retired to sleep at 11pm.

17th to 21st September

On 17th visited Escorts hospital to collect Venita's blood report. Except analysis of vitamin-D report from her blood, other reports were given by the hospital. The vitamin-D analysis report would be ready on 18th evening. The appointment with Dr. Anoop Mishra, diabetes expert is to be taken after 10th October to show him the vitamin-D analysis report. Tomorrow is the appointment with Dr. AK Agarwal of RML. Shanti Siddharthan, branch manager SBI, Vikaspuri is transferred on promotion to Jaipur. Her husband is joining a Think Tank in Washington. She will ultimately be shifting to Washington by November end. She was a great help at SBI, Vikaspuri. On 18th Dr.AK Agarwal saw Venita and changed some medicines after seeing the blood report. A minor accident took place on 17th due to short circuit in the Kaff stove. The Indane Gas people came and examined it. They said the gas line was in order and advised to call the Kaff people to inspect the stove. The Kaff technician came to correct the burners. But he could not open it. He said he would come next day. On 19th could not go for a walk as it was raining quite heavily. In the Indian Express dated 19th September at page 9, Shombit Sengupta writes," In all three generational groups there exist all 8 behavioral clusters-low key, value seeker, sober , flamboyant, critical, novelty seeker, techy and gizmo lover. Digital zappers supremely influence everything, so connecting to them is crucial for the future. The compromise generation tries hard to follow Zappers in being trendy but does not quite get there. The retro generation is generally stiff". I don't know in which behavioral cluster/(s) I should put myself. If I can judge myself more or less correctly I am a mixture of value seeker, sober , critical & novelty seeker. I am sure I am not low key, flamboyant, techy or gizmo lover. I can correlate myself with compromise and zappers equally well. I find difficult to correlate with retro generation. It is perhaps because of my service background.
On 20th collected report of Venita from Escorts hospital and medicines from CGHS. Could not bring her insulin injections as I forgot to bring the ice pack with which the insulin has to be carried home. KTS is straining himself too much. I will have to talk to him. I told Mahesh about it. On 21st visited Center for Sight for Venita's Avastin injection. But we had forgotten to bring the injection from home. I requested the center to loan me one on payment and on receipt of injection pay me back. Though they had agreed on a previous occasion, this time they did not. I therefore took 28th for injecting Avastine in the right eye of Venita. I also took appointment with Dr. Shroff for a second opinion on 27th.
I read the review of "Eat, Pray, Love", by Elizabeth Gilbert. It is a beautiful novel, a part of it is filmed in India. The heroin of the film, being impressed by the atmosphere in an Asram of South India where it was filmed has become a Hindu along with her husband and children. The novel followed the discovery of self by the author after her divorce. Retired to sleep at 11pm.

16th September

Completed morning program. Visited Escorts hospital for Venita's tests as desired by Dr. AK Agarwal. The cost of one test, namely 1,25 Dihydroxy Vitamin D is Rs.1990/- besides there are some other tests. The report of Sugar level is not at all satisfactory and will call for a review of medicines for Sugar control. Hemoglobin level is almost normal as it is 11.2. It should be min. 12. I have to show it to Dr. AK Agarwal on 18th, when I meet him along with Venita. Retired to sleep at 11.15 pm.

14th & 15th September

On 14th tried to contact Dr. Sunil Kumar, M.S.M. Cb.(Urology),Senior Surgeon, Safdarjang hospital. But could not contact him. He had prescribed Urimax-D tablets for reduction of the size of prostate gland in 2004, when its size was 31.2cc. It reduced to 22.7cc in 2007 & increased to 28cc in 2008. Pre void residual urine was insignificant in 2004. It became 16cc in 2007 and 9cc in 2008. I had showed the reports to Dr.Sunil kumar on 21/07/09. After seeing the 3 reports each of 2004,2007 & 2008, he advised I should stop taking Urimax-D tablets and desired to review after 6 months. I have got the PSA test done and it is 0.64 as against the range of 0.0-4.4. I have not been able to contact him. Some persons in the Safdarjang hospital told that he was transferred to RML hospital. He could not be traced there also. I have requested some persons to find out if he has resigned and opened his own clinic. I will try for another few days. If he cannot be located I will show the reports to another Urologist. At present I have no problem due to slightly enlarged prostrate and the PSA is well within the normal range.
On 15th attended a birthday party of my grand son at Gurgaon. His maternal Grand-Father, Grand-Mother & Mousi had come from Jaipur and Mumbai, respectively to wish him Happy birthday. The flat was decorated with colorful balloons, multicolor stars & stencils. Babua, my grand son had invited his class mates. They played in the play well corner of the Mc. Donald's followed by a get together with their mothers in the restaurant. In all his 10 friends came with beautiful gifts. There were return gifts to them and all of them were putting on colorful caps and clothes. Babua was quite excited,so were we. Today he is 4. We left for Vikaspuri at about 8.30 pm.
In the morning during Vipassana I had prayed for his long life, health and bright future. So also I prayed for all the children. My second son, Siddharth Shrivastava (Silku), based in Gurgaon, could not come with his family as he was preoccupied in some urgent work. His wife was blessed with another daughter about a month back. He said he would join in the party on 25th, when Parikshit Shrivastava (Bablu), my 3rd son returns from Finland. I told my daughter-in-law that I would pay for the party. The in laws of Bablu are staying back for the party till 26th September. But their daughter Shivani, Babua's Mausi, is leaving for Mumbai on Sunday, the 19th. Babua wanted us to stay back at Gurgaon for the night. We persuaded him to allow us to go back to Vikaspuri with a promise that we will stay back next time when we come to Gurgaon. Retired to sleep at 11pm.

13th September

On 13th obtained approval for the treatment of Venita from CGHS, Pandara road. Completed my last Will and Wish. I have to send a copy of the Will to Vikas whom I have appointed as executor of the Will. My friend of 50 year vintage about whom I wrote in my blog earlier again met me to tell about his failed married life. He asked me as to why his wife had not poisoned him if she wanted to get rid of as she disliked him.I told him to get over these negative feelings about his wife. No wife poisons her husband unless she has a paramour to take care of her. My friend said that his wife had also an affair but the person ditched her and married another person. I told him that it established what I told him that she had none to take care of her as her lover left her & perhaps was not serious of the affair. I further told him that you were now married over 50 years, forget the past, take care of her and live happily for whatever years remain for both of you. My friend did not feel convinced and went away without telling anything. After his departure, I felt I could not convince him of my advice. His is a very sad case. I don't think he will come to me ever.
Retired to sleep at 11pm.

10th to 12th Septemeber

Completed the morning program. Visited Safdarjang hospital and collected endorsement for eye treatment of Venita. She is under treatment of Dr. Dinesh Talwar of Center for Sight, Safdarjang Enclave, New Delhi, a CGHS approved center. She has been under his treatment for now about 2 years. Her right eye is the subject of treatment. She had 2 laser corrections. But after each there is again a relapse. Now a 3rd avastin injection will be given in the right eye. It is a painful procedure. But now she bears it. We have to keep on trying so that she does not become blind in the right eye. It is a diabetic effect. Now her diabetes is under control after we started treatment of Dr. Anoop Misra of Fortis hospital. He is quite expensive and not approved by CGHS. So we have to bear the expenses. It does not matter as long as she is showing signs of improvement. Attended 2nd Friday lunch of the month of September at CIOS mess. Just a few officers of the IAS and other services came. Madan Bezbaruah, close to me, came. Prior to lunch we had a get together of IPS officers of the batch, available at Delhi. In all 9 IPS officers attended. Three could not.We have been together for the last 46 years and from our prime youth to 70 years. It has been a long journey full of sweet and sad memories. Quite a few have left us for their heavenly abode and our journey is also likely to end later or sooner. Let us continue to spend as much as we can and help each other in developing mentally and spiritually. Because of 9 IPS officers the number of the batch mates, attending lunch, went up to about 16. At least 15 is the norm. Otherwise we have to pay a lump sum for the lunch. If 15 people are there then each one of us has to pay Rs.300/-. If the number is less we have a contributory deposit from which the balance is paid. More important is meeting and renewing an association which is as big as 46 years now. Next get together is proposed in November where the spouses will also be invited. I have been told to get BSF mess, Nizamuddin, for the get together. I have told them to give the firm dates for booking the mess.Curiously the initiative for the get together with spouses is being taken by our batch mates who have lost their spouses. I think by seeing us with our spouses they will get a vicarious satisfaction. After all we have been together for 46 years. So an affinity has developed which is human and does not need any elaboration.
On 12th it was Hrishi Panchami, when all the Sapt Hrishi's are invoked and offerings & prayers made for well being. Venita participated in the puja, which continued for over 2 hours when she had to sit on the ground. Later she complained of back pain and said she won't be able to go to Escorts hospital for tests as proposed. Retired to sleep at 11.15 pm.

9th September

Visited Safdarjang hospital. A pair of crutches was given to a disabled young man by me on request of an officer of rehabilitation department of Safdarjang hospital.A photograph was taken of me and others. It was not prearranged. Now a news item will be given. I think it is not necessary. I could not refuse it as I am under treatment there. We should believe in doing more than in publicity. All should be done in a spirit of service, which is not visible so much these days in the society. Everyone wants publicity only for anything that is done by them, may be, in discharge of their bounden duty.Revised the 'Will'. After showing it to Venita I will finalize it. Retired to sleep at 11pm.

8th September

On 8th Venita had OCT (Angiography of eyes). Her right eye which has been twice laser operated has again shown signs of relapse. Now she will have to take another Avastine injection for corrective action. Sent an email to DG Health Services, Govt. of India, reporting denial of permission for eye examination in a CGHS approved center on recommendation by a Govt. consultant. Had cup of coffee in Mc.Donald's, Khan Market along with Venita. Retired to sleep at 11pm.

7th September

On 7th an old friend of mine met me and narrated sad story of his family life. His was an arranged marriage about 50 years back. They are to celebrate golden Anniversary shortly. But I did not see any enthusiasm in him. He said that his wife disliked him right from the 1st day of the marriage & still continued to dislike him. I asked him what the reason could be. He wanted to tell something but restrained from telling. He further said that his wife tried in every possible way to leave him, but he had stuck onto her thinking that marriage was sacrament and could not be done away with. He was quite a sad man. He further said that she wanted him to leave her and go. But he told her where he could go. He could not commit suicide as that was against the law of nature. So life is going on for him, not so much of concern for him as for her whose wish to live without him is not getting fulfilled. I said that you have lived together so long, why not carry on for some more time. He agreed telling that there was no alternative.
Retired to sleep at 11pm.

3rd to 6th September

On 3rd could complete my morning program. However pranayam time had to be reduced drastically in order to complete all other exercises, asans, 40 minute walk to get ready by 10am to go to the court/chamber. Tried to contact CGHS officers to inquire about my complaint no. C-54978, in connection with refusal by CMO, Pandara road, CGHS for eye examination in a CGHS approved center. Dr.Mukesh Verma, with whom I exchange emails regularly on various issues, advised me to approach CPIO CGHS for action taken by them. I will take follow-up action in consultation with him. There is no DG CGHS, there is only one DG health services and he looks after the CGHS also. There is one ADG CGHS who at present is Dr. Dinesh Bhatnagar. His telephone number is 23061467. The Director CGHS is Dr. Parekh and his number is 23062800. The immediate superior to the CMO Pandara road is Addl. Director CGHS. His telephone number is 23515934. At present Dr.Tejan is holding the post. Despite my repeated efforts to talk to them, I could not get any one on the line. Either they are busy in meetings, having lunch or not available. I will pursue to contact them as there is no other alternative.On 4th we had rotational lunch in the house of Sh.Caire in flat no.259 along with Sarvashri SK Dutta & RC Jha & families. Neha had come with Babua. I told Babua the story of vikings. He liked it. Mr. Dutta & Mr. Caire said that they could not open attachments to my mails. I don't have their phone numbers. Jaymith should talk to them when I have their numbers.On 5th it was drizzling in the morning but I had my walk for 45 mins. Vikas rang up for lunch on Saturday or Sunday. As I was having lunch with some persons in the society could not go with him. Did not attend the executive committee meeting of the society of which I am a member. There is no pleasure in it. I go there when they insist for my presence for supporting an issue in which I have concurrent view. The DYSP(Retired) Sh.Kaushik, gave me a loud salutation when I was walking in the park. I am sure there is something behind this salutation. Let us see. Paid Rs.200 to the security officer Chopra for tea to guards. I pay this amount every month. In a discourse of Brahmakumaris, it was suggested that we should be creative in our dealings with relationships. That will be possible provided we have love, compassion and good will for all. On 6th I realized that I should increase the time of pranayam. In particular anulom vilom is quite useful. Retired to sleep at 10.45pm.

1st & 2nd September

On 1st collected Stevi O Cal two jars full of powder. I find it will be convenient to use Stevi powder.The Stevi O Cal in pouches gets solidified and sometimes does not dilute when used. It is said to be a food supplement. I think I can also use it. Told Venita to use it in all her recipes as a substitute to sugar. Visited SBI for work. Could not contact Additional Director, Central zone, CGHS for direction to CMO, CGHS, Pandara Road to permit me to undertake eye examination in a CGHS approved center. Could not sleep after 0130 hours of 2nd September. I will try to make it up later during the day. Did pending tits-bits and Vipassana. Recited Gayatri Mantra for quite sometime when I could not sleep during the early hours of 2nd Sep. Janmastami was celebrated on 2nd. It was celebrated yesterday at Vrindaban, it being a Wednesday with Rohini Nakshatra. The Nakshatra continued today also till 10 am. It was celebrated in Mathura today. I joined in the celebrations in the temple within the premises of the society at midnight. About 100 people including children attended and chanted the name of Krishna. Spiritually the birth of Krishna at midnight signifies the end of night of sorrow and beginning of morning of light and happiness. Images of the celebrations were shown live in various tv channels. I sent good wishes on the day to about 20 persons. Only 5 of them responded. Retired to sleep at 0045 hours of 3rd September.

25th to 31st August

On 25th visited Safdarjang hospital for endorsement of refraction test in the Center for Sight. Visited CGHS and collected medicines. Amitabh Thakur, SP,CBI, came. Later met him in the Special unit/CBI, where I had gone to meet the DIG. The DIG was out to Ghaziabad for delivering lecture. This is a unit of CBI where I worked from 1985-1989. I visit it at least once in a year as a matter of good will gesture. In the Special unit met Sh.Kashyap, who received President's Medal for Distinguished Services. He was DYSP when I was DIG. Met Sh.Bhanu also who is SPI.
On 26th we were to have a quiet lunch at a restaurant selected by Neha. But could not go there as Babua was not well. Instead of going to the chambers I decided to go to Gurgaon to spend time with him. We returned after Bablu came back from office. At the end of 71 years I feel no problems in my health and I am still working 15/16 hours everyday. I hope to meet a healthy end. On 27th Subhash noted that his email id is hacked. Today is the birthday of Silku. Wished him long life. Relationship develops in the mind. It is oneness with the soul/energy of the other. Attended IPS dinner at the BSF mess Nizamuddin. Met the daughter of my close friend's elder sister who is now married to Sh.SC Sinha,DG,NIA. It was a grand get together. We could meet our old friends. On 28th visited CGHS, Pandara road. The CMO did not give permission for the refraction test in the Center for Sight. I will have to report it to CGHS headquarters. On 29th Sunita & Subhash came for lunch. They brought a gift for me. On 30th visited Neha and thereafter Silku at Gurgaon to look up the grand daughter born on 19th August at 11am. It is the 12th day of her life. Gave a 10gm gold coin to her as we have done to each of our grand children in the past. On 31st visited SBI Vikaspuri, PNB Vikaspuri & SBI PBB parliament street for work. Lodged a complaint to the Additional Director and CGHS helpline regarding refusal to give permission by CMO Pandara park, CGHS. The following line of Albert Einstein struck my attention:
"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results".
Retired to sleep at 11pm.