Wednesday, April 27, 2011
25th and 26th April
On 25th visited CGHS.As the internet was slow, the indents could not be made for supply of medicines. In chamber from 12.45-3.30pm. On 26th visited Safdarjung hospital and met Dr.Kothari for consultation in regard to Venita's spondelysis. In chamber from 1-2pm. Visited domestic Airport and received Pilku, Ruchi and grand children, who had gone to Goa for holidays. Ruchi and grand children are going back to London on 28th by British Airways flight early in the morning.We wanted to meet the family as it would be quite late in the night to see them off. Pilku will go on Friday the 29th. Had a long chat with Pilku to post him of the family happenings. He watched football matches in ESPN late night. I retired to sleep at 11.15pm.
Monday, April 25, 2011
19th to 24th April
On 19th visited Safdarjang hospital and consulted Dr.Vasu,dental surgeon.Visited CGHS & thereafter SBI. In chamber from 12.45-2.45pm.Pilku arrived by Air India flight no.442 from Kabul. He went to Patpatganj, where his family is staying with her parents. On 21st did not get sleep from 0145 hours. Read Ramayana for one hour & also did Vipassana for over one hour.Visited Sai temple to handover spare medicines to the hospital. In chamber from 12.30-4pm. Pradeep came and took away the file of Yash. No improvement in Yash's condition. Briefed him about discussion with Dr.MB Agarwal of Mumbai, a hematologist.It was holiday on 22nd as it was Good Friday. It is said that Jesus was crucified on the day.Venita went for x-ray to remove her doubt about half a cm long very thin needle of the syringe,used in injecting insulin,which broke and could have remained inside the muscles of the stomach. The x-ray however did not show it in the area where injection was taken. Search was also made for it but it could not be found. On 23rd Vodafone offered 3G spectrum. I will decide about it after discussing with those who already have it. On 24th the Christians celebrated Easter, the resurrection of Christ. The holidays from 22nd to 24th gave a good break of rest. Pilku had bought tickets and made hotel reservation for us in Goa. But we convinced him that it would be better for us to rest. Venita was having a very bad kind of spondylosis. Retired to sleep at 11pm.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
15th to 18th April
On 15th completed morning program. Had to abandon walking due to drizzle. Could however do 3 kms. Visited SBI. In chamber 12.45-4pm. On 16th Omesh Sehgal, a batch-mate,rang up and requested for drafting of FIR in a case. I told him that we could examine it on Monday. Venita went to Greater Noida to participate in Misti's birthday celebration. I could not go. On 17th could not go for walk due to intermittent rains. On 18th had a walk but could not do exercises etc. Visited CGHS. In chamber from 12.45-3.45pm. It was Hanuman Jayanti today. Visited Hanuman temple in Chanakya Puri. Venita made a day long program for the temple in the society. She chanted Hanuman Chalisa 108 times. Retired to sleep at 10pm.
Friday, April 15, 2011
5th to 14th April
On 5th visited Center for Sight.Could not meet Dr.Dinesh Talwar. Visited SBI & collected fixed deposit receipts as also a banker's cheque for payment towards bill of Citi bank credit card. Steps taken to restore cell banking. Visited chamber from 2.00-3.45pm. On 6th again visited Center for Sight and met Dr. Talwar. He suggested OCT for Venita's eyes after 6 weeks. In SBI discussed refund of driver's SBI life policy. Ruchi and Venita went to West End market. On 7th could not complete 4 kms walk & did only 2 kms as I had to go to RML to meet Dr.AK Agarwal at 10.15am. Dr.Agarwal said that Venita's diabetes was under control.HBAC is high as it is 9%. It should not be more than 6%. It showed the average of blood sugar level during last 3 months. Venita was advised to take care and walk regularly.Venita admitted she could not be regular in her walks during last 3 months. In chamber from 11am-3.55pm. On 8th completed morning program without meditation, asans and exercises. Only did full pranayam and walk.Visited CGHS. In chamber from 12.30-2.30 pm.Accompanied grand children to the society parks.They were happy to meet a cat which is taken care of by the guards of the society. In the evening they went along with Ruchi to railway station to join others in journey to Lucknow where Dr. Prasad is to do Graha pravesh in the new flat taken by him.On 9th could not go to Bhagwati jagaran as I did not feel like going there.Venita was in the temple reading Ramayana. She has to finish complete reading of it during navaratris. On 10th went through the old personal files and destroyed quite a few not required now. Information about the death of the son of a maternal aunt of Venita was received. I had met him when he was at Gwalior. At the time of death he was at Bhopal where he had shifted from Gwalior quite sometime back. On 11th visited CGHS as also SBI. In chamber from 1.15-4.15pm. Visited Pradeep and Gita and collected medical papers of Yash. On 12th left for Mumbai by flight no. IA 865 at 10.15am and reached there at 12.15pm. Had steam bath. Sambhariya came. We had discussions. Thereafter we had a 40 mins walk at Worli sea face. Had dinner with him in Police officers mess along with his friend and families. On 13th Sambhariya and a DIG came on invitation for lunch. They left at about 3.30pm. Thereafter i went to Dadar to show the papers of Yash to Dr.MB Agarwal, a hematologist. Returned at about 9pm. Waited for over 3 hours in the clinic of Dr.MB Agarwal and thereafter only could meet him. The Mumbai Indians of the IPL have been accommodated in the rooms of the floor where I am also living. Quite often when I go out or come to the floor on way to my room I meet them. I have seen quite a few of them on the TV. But cant recognize. They are young boys full of life.
Dr. Agarwal advised to be patient in the treatment of Yash. The return of bone marrow is slow. the line of treatment being given is along the right lines. He suggested that we should give platelets to Yash only when they go down below 10,000. Other parameters of blood reports showed his condition as stable. On 14th had a steam bath. on way to the airport Sambhariya gave my diaries which I had left at his house on 12th. At the airport Anand and his newly married wife Shivali met me. She is a pleasent girl. I wish them good luck and Godspeed. The flight IA 888 took off over 1 hour late and reached Delhi at about 10.15pm where as It should have reached at 9pm. The aircraft was in horrible condition, food was below standard. Most of the occupants of a nine seater business class were free pass holders except a couple of us.Of the two of us only I had bought the ticket and the other was an air force officers travelling at Govt. cost. Retired to sleep at midnight.
Dr. Agarwal advised to be patient in the treatment of Yash. The return of bone marrow is slow. the line of treatment being given is along the right lines. He suggested that we should give platelets to Yash only when they go down below 10,000. Other parameters of blood reports showed his condition as stable. On 14th had a steam bath. on way to the airport Sambhariya gave my diaries which I had left at his house on 12th. At the airport Anand and his newly married wife Shivali met me. She is a pleasent girl. I wish them good luck and Godspeed. The flight IA 888 took off over 1 hour late and reached Delhi at about 10.15pm where as It should have reached at 9pm. The aircraft was in horrible condition, food was below standard. Most of the occupants of a nine seater business class were free pass holders except a couple of us.Of the two of us only I had bought the ticket and the other was an air force officers travelling at Govt. cost. Retired to sleep at midnight.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
1st to 4th April
On 1st completed morning program. Sent the following message to KTS, Pravesh, Agnihotri and Vikas:
"Sri Lankan president dies of a massive heart attack...final will be postponed now...watch the news!!!"
Only Agnihotri & Pravesh responded and said that I could not make them an April fool. I don't know how KTS and Vikas reacted.Visited Alopathic & Ayurvedic CGHS for collection of medicines. Visited SBI, it was closed for the financial year ending 31st March 2011. Visited chamber from 2-3.45pm. On 2nd had to go to International airport Terminal 3 to receive Ruchi and grand children starting from Vikaspuri at quarter to 6. Hence could not do the morning program. Ruchi's British Airways flight landed at 6.08 am, but she could come out at about 7.10 am.It took over an hour to collect the luggage & complete other formalities. Watched the India- Sri Lanka match. India won. MS Dhoni played excellently. Amolikaa likes to talk. I don't know why I felt inordinately tired and slept from 10.30 am to 1pm,taking leave from her to sleep for 5mins. She came after sometime and asked me if I would wake up then so that she could talk to me. Retired to sleep at 1am on 3rd April. On 3rd got up quite late . Deepu and his family came. Visited district center mall. Ruchi bought some shoes for children and herself. On 4th completed morning program. Visited Center for sight to meet Dr.Dinesh Talwar.He was busy in OT.Visited SBI to check on status of withdrawals & deposits in my accounts.In chamber from 1.30 pm-2.45 pm. Visited Army riding school. Amolikaa rode the horse named Shakti. Abhishree did not. Amolikaa is 6. Has picked up riding quite well.Her movements on the horse back showed that she had been coached well in UK where she attended a 3 day coaching in horse riding. Ruchi paid a sum of Rs.25000/-(pounds 365) for this coaching. But she has picked up well. In UK she was trained up in comparatively smaller horses. She said that she had been given level 1 training in horse riding. Here she had been given a level 2 coaching. At less than her age Bablu was an excellent rider. He used to gallop along with me in cross country rides. Retired to sleep at 10.30pm.
"Sri Lankan president dies of a massive heart attack...final will be postponed now...watch the news!!!"
Only Agnihotri & Pravesh responded and said that I could not make them an April fool. I don't know how KTS and Vikas reacted.Visited Alopathic & Ayurvedic CGHS for collection of medicines. Visited SBI, it was closed for the financial year ending 31st March 2011. Visited chamber from 2-3.45pm. On 2nd had to go to International airport Terminal 3 to receive Ruchi and grand children starting from Vikaspuri at quarter to 6. Hence could not do the morning program. Ruchi's British Airways flight landed at 6.08 am, but she could come out at about 7.10 am.It took over an hour to collect the luggage & complete other formalities. Watched the India- Sri Lanka match. India won. MS Dhoni played excellently. Amolikaa likes to talk. I don't know why I felt inordinately tired and slept from 10.30 am to 1pm,taking leave from her to sleep for 5mins. She came after sometime and asked me if I would wake up then so that she could talk to me. Retired to sleep at 1am on 3rd April. On 3rd got up quite late . Deepu and his family came. Visited district center mall. Ruchi bought some shoes for children and herself. On 4th completed morning program. Visited Center for sight to meet Dr.Dinesh Talwar.He was busy in OT.Visited SBI to check on status of withdrawals & deposits in my accounts.In chamber from 1.30 pm-2.45 pm. Visited Army riding school. Amolikaa rode the horse named Shakti. Abhishree did not. Amolikaa is 6. Has picked up riding quite well.Her movements on the horse back showed that she had been coached well in UK where she attended a 3 day coaching in horse riding. Ruchi paid a sum of Rs.25000/-(pounds 365) for this coaching. But she has picked up well. In UK she was trained up in comparatively smaller horses. She said that she had been given level 1 training in horse riding. Here she had been given a level 2 coaching. At less than her age Bablu was an excellent rider. He used to gallop along with me in cross country rides. Retired to sleep at 10.30pm.
Friday, April 1, 2011
31st March
Went for a walk but could not do the exercises/asans/pranayam. After return from Sohna, I feel quite composed. The Vipassana break has given me a lot of peace & stability of mind. In chambers from 1.15-2.30pm. On way back visited Biaknerwala in Yashwant Place & bought some Kaju ki Barfi for the grand children who are reaching Delhi tomorrow early morning to spend their easter holidays in India. They like barfi very much. Last time when they came a year back I bought some for them. In one year the rate of barfi per kg has shot up from Rs.250 to Rs.710. It has become out of reach for a common man. I am reminded of a story which I narrate below.
"A poor man went to buy pure ghee for Rs.1.The shopkeeper took a look at him. He also took away a rupee from the hand of the poor man. He pulled him to a tin of pure ghee & told him you put your nose near the hole of the tin and smell ghee. The poor man did the same. After that the porr man said to give him ghee for one rupee. The shopkeeper told him that he could get only smell of ghee for one rupee and not ghee."
I think the Kaju ki barfi is also likely to acquire the status of ghee. In fact it has already acquired it.
Retired to sleep at 10.30pm.
"A poor man went to buy pure ghee for Rs.1.The shopkeeper took a look at him. He also took away a rupee from the hand of the poor man. He pulled him to a tin of pure ghee & told him you put your nose near the hole of the tin and smell ghee. The poor man did the same. After that the porr man said to give him ghee for one rupee. The shopkeeper told him that he could get only smell of ghee for one rupee and not ghee."
I think the Kaju ki barfi is also likely to acquire the status of ghee. In fact it has already acquired it.
Retired to sleep at 10.30pm.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
29th and 30th March
On 29th visited CGHS for collection of medicines,Alopathic and Ayurvedic. Before coming up to my room met Mr.SS Sharma,IAS (Rtd), in charge LPO, as also Ms. Neha Gupta in the basement. I will try to give them some work as it appears they don't have much. In chamber from 1-3.30pm. Visited Hanuman temple in Chanakyapuri. On 30th visited PNB to check on the transfer of money to Ajju.In chamber 12.15-2.30 pm. Watched the Semi-final of World Cup between India & Pakistan up to midnight. India had a thrilling victory. Retired to sleep at 12pm.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
28th March
Completed morning program. Visited Punjab National Bank and transferred a sum of Rs.20,000/- to the account of Ajju for expenses in connection with salary , medical treatment of the caretaker and his family and general maintenance of the ancestral house. I had given Rs.2,800/- for the treatment of the caretaker's wife and now another Rs.5000/- for the purpose to Ajju and Rs.15,000/- to Naresh Bhaisahab for salary and other maintenance expenses. Visited CGHS. In chamber from 1.15-4.30pm. There has been a good deal expenditure during last about 2 months. The basic sum of rupees 3 lacs 50 thousand [received by me as gratuity in 2004(as far as I remember)] has come down to rupees 1 lac 43 thousand only. It is likely to go down further as I have to pay some more bills.
Retired to sleep at 11pm.
Retired to sleep at 11pm.
Vipassana III
16.03.11, Wednesday: Arrived Sohona Dhamma Center at Rakha gaon on Ballabgarh Sohna road, district Gurgaon at 4.45pm. Completed registration formalities. I have been given room no. M-11 in block A. There is improvement in the facilities: such as tile fitted toilets, general cleanliness, cleaner linen etc. As service of tea to the visitors had finished I gave driver Thapa Rs.50/- to have it on the way. In the morning Venita attempted to persuade me to abandon the idea of going to the Center. But I told her that I was committed to Goenkaji to join at least one 10 day course every year as advised by him in his discourses. In fact I asked her to come over and join the course along with me. She said she had other commitments in connection with the management of a small temple within the premises of the society. She has done one course in 2010.
After a mini meal of Khichdi , a glass of milk and a banana at 6pm, the briefing for the course was done by a Dhamma Sevak with the help of an audio tape. I did not take khichdi as I was on ekadashi fast. Venita had given some cutlets made of sabudana, ground nuts with sendha salt. I took only a glass of milk and banana. The briefing centered round rules of the Ashram. Observance of complete silence was emphasized and other details of rules regarding our living in Ashram, were explained. After the briefing we were given seat numbers in Dhamma hall. We occupied them by 8pm. Goenkaji’s briefing started thereafter through an audiotape. He explained the process of ‘Ana Pan’, that is, incoming and outgoing breath, awareness of the same. The mind, which goes here and there has to be brought back by constant effort to the observation of the breath. The process sharpens the mind. Goenkaji advocated surrender to Buddha (Bodhi in us), Dhamma (The law of nature) and Sangha (The company of liberated individuals/saints), which were termed as 3 gems of the existence. The discourse ended at 9 pm. We retired to sleep at 9.30pm.
17.03.11, Thursday: We started meditation at 4.30 am. Goenkaji’s discourse started at 5.50 am continued till 6.30 am. He explained as to why it was necessary to observe the breath. Breath is a bridge between body and mind. The observation of it leads to the realization of truth as also the ultimate truth. After breakfast, we had group meditation from 8am to 9am. Goenkaji further explained the process of Ana Pan. From 9 am to 10.15 am, he advised the old students (me too) to shorten the area of observation of breath over the upper lip and below nostrils. The thinner the breath (and of course awareness of it) the sharper will be the mind. But at no time we should loose sight of it. He invoked us to fulfill the 10 Parmiks regularly ( I have given details of these Parmiks in my note dated 13.03.09 on Vipassana I ). They will ultimately lead us to complete liberation from the miseries of life. In the evening discourse he again reiterated the importance of observing the breath. Retired to sleep at 9.30pm after a meditation of about 12 hours: 4.30-6.30am, 8-11am, 1-5pm, 6-9pm(including video taped discourse of Goenkaji) .
18.03.11, Friday: The same routine. Watching the breath. Today I had some pain in the waist when I got up at 4 am, but it disappeared after 4.30 am, when I started meditation. Such is the nature of these evanescent sensations. Goenkaji tells us not to react to such sensations. Observe them and slowly they will disappear. In the evening discourse Goenkaji emphasized the need to observe the breath inside the nostrils and in the area below the nostrils and above the upper lip to know about any sensations there. If there are no sensations we are advised to continue observing the breath inside the nostrils. Retired to sleep at 9.30 pm.
19.03.11, Saturday: The routine was as before. When I was walking to the Dhamma hall at about 8 am, I saw a peacock dancing with its multi-colored feathers in a semi circular way around itself in fullness on the roof of pagoda. The audience to the dance of the peacock consisted of two she peacocks and one peacock. The dancing peacock was at the lowest roof of the pagoda, the she peacocks were on one layer above it and another peacock on the layer just below the top of pagoda. It was misty at 8 o’clock in the morning with the light spread of about 9 watt bulb. One of the two she peacocks was watching the show with rapt attention and total infatuation and the other was trying to open her feathers to copy the peacock. She peacocks do not have large feathers. The peacock near the top of the pagoda was watching with its tilted neck, not just quite happy with the attention the dancing peacock was getting from the two she peacocks. I had to rush to Dhamma hall to join in the group meditation at 8 am. I don’t know what happened to the dancing peacock later. I got engrossed in meditation. It is said that during the dancing of the peacock a foam like substance comes out from its mouth. After it has fallen on the ground it is pecked by the she peacocks. They lay eggs for new life after sometime. I could not concentrate well in the meditation till about 11am including for about 2 hours in the allotted cell of the pagoda. In the afternoon Goenkaji advised to stop breath for half a minute and then see if there were any sensations in the area between nostrils and the upper lip. I tried this. I felt a kind of coolness which was usually not felt. In the evening discourse Goenkaji said that during Vipassana meditation, i.e., meditation for wisdom, 3 truths came to our knowledge, i) Truth of change, ii) Truth of impermanence, iii) Truth of no solidity : only waves of vibrations. Retired to sleep at 9.30 pm.
20.03.11, Sunday : Today is Holi. People play it with colors. Nothing here. Since yesterday I am hearing drum beats with occasional shouts of people: “Holi Hai”. Today also it continued. For good reasons we are not allowed to go outside. There is complete maun. Today as before we practiced Ana Pan, watching the breath inside the nostrils and in the are above the upper lip and below nostrils. I was unstable throughout today during the practice of Ana Pan. Later in the afternoon Goenkaji introduced us to the technique of Vipassana. He took away our mind from the area between upper lips and nostrils to watch sensations in different parts of the body. In this technique we start observation of the sensations from the top of the head (Bramhand) to entire skull, to different parts of the face, to the right shoulder to upper arm to elbow to lower arm to wrist to palm and fingertips. Thereafter we watch the sensations in the same sequence starting from the left shoulder, then from throat to the chest, to abdomen to right thigh to knee to leg to ankle to heel to fingers and with the same sequence in the left leg also. Thereafter from neck to upper back to lower back to waist and other lower parts of the body. While observing the various parts of the body we have to observe various kinds of sensations and know them. Where no sensations are seen we should stop for a minute and then go to other parts of the body as per sequence. There are sensations in every part of the body all the time. The cells of the body are creating and destroying and in the process vibrating and generating a sensation. Change is taking place every moment. There is no permanence. According to Goenkaji , this knowledge will lead us to non attachment. Change is the Dhamma and law of nature. Retired to sleep at 9.15 pm.
21.03.11, Monday : Even today the songs continued in the air keeping tempo of Holi high in the vicinity. No celebration or even talk of Holi in the Ashram. All of us are observing total silence which is called Arya maun. The routine was as usual. Vipassana meditation is practiced by all. I am now quite comfortable in its practice. The time would pass so quickly. Due to some strain in the left knee area in course of Bajra Asan at Delhi sometime back, I had to go for rehabilitation about 3 months back, take exercises and wax bath of the knees for over 2 months. There was no pain after this. But I cannot complete Adhisthan of one hour here sitting without movement due to lingering pain after half an hour in the left knee. The pain has appeared again due to sitting for about 13/14 hours in meditation. I had no problem in meditation for one hour without movement at home. But here hours are much more. I requested the teacher to allow me to sit in the chair for Adhisthan period of meditation during 3 group sittings, but he did not allow. He said I should have taken the chair at the beginning of the course as some others had done. I said I did not require it on a regular basis. Now I find it difficult to sit in one position without movement and that I wanted chair only for 3 periods during the 3 group sittings and not for other hours, but he did not allow. I had no alternative but to carry on without observing Adhisthan as ordained by Goenkaji and do it as much as I could without difficulty. He said that if he allowed me to sit on the chair for the fulfillment of Goenkaji’s command for Adhisthan, it will be tantamount to mixing water with milk. I did not understand the meaning of the proverb. In the evening discourse Goenkaji explained the four noble truths, i.e., there is misery, there is cause of misery, there is method to do away the misery and the Ashtang marg. Vipassana is technique by which anyone can get rid of misery by developing equanimity.
The teacher told on my query that there were 3 compilations of Buddha Vani. One is meant for bhikshu, the second contains sutras which are recited by Goenkaji during his briefing and discourses and the 3rd contains discourses in various matters such as kinds of minds etc. The 3rd compilation is known as Abhidhan Pitek. It gives description of details of 121 kinds of mind and 51 kinds chitta vritiyan. Goenkaji said these could broadly be grouped into four: Cognizance, Recognition, Evaluation and Reaction. We were also told to practice Vipassana from right foot and then from the left, to abdomen to chest to right hand and then left hand, and then from throat to face to head in this sequence, then from waist to back to neck, and thereafter from head to toes and toes to head. Retired to sleep at 9.30pm.
22.03.11, Tuesday : The routine was as before. Unless I can observe sensations, pulsating the entire body I have not achieved what the practice should lead me to. I get the subtle sensations but not the flow of them throughout the body or part of it. However on 20th I felt a flow of warmth all over the body. In course of the discourse, Goenkaji said that there should however be no craving for a sensation. If the sensation is there in any part of the body, we should go to other parts of the body and so on so forth. Retired to sleep at 9.30pm.
23.03.11, Wednesday: The routine was as before. In the discourse Goenkaji talked about five friends. Yesterday he had talked about five enemies. I have given details of these in my previous Vipassana notes of 2009 and 2010. Retired to sleep at 9.30pm.
24.03.11, Thursday: The routine was as before. In his discourse, Goenkaji said that if your mind was equanimous, you were bound to feel the subtle sensations. Retired to sleep at 9.30pm.
25.03.11, Friday: The routine was as usual. Today a new technique of meditation was enunciated. It is known as ‘Bhang Gyan’. In this you mentally pierce through the different parts of the body and feel the sensations inside, so much so that you feel that there are only vibrations and no solidity in the body. Mind and matter dissolve. But when some old sensations come up , then again we loose sight of the experience. They put a curtain on them. If we keep ourselves equanimous then the ‘sanskars’ dissolve. We have to continue the meditation to get to know the sensations in each part, the flow of sensations in parts or full body and finally Bhang Gyan. But in each state we have to keep ourselves equanimous. The purpose is to know the ultimate nature of mind and matter, which is changing and in the process to keep our equanimity to rid ourselves of the main causes of the miseries of life : craving, aversion and attachment. These are there in us in the form of ‘sanskars’. These have to be eradicated by knowing the true nature of mind and matter. The world around us is a replica of our body and mind. It is also changing every moment. When you are in the process of meditation you get to realize the ultimate truth: which is Dhamma or law of Nature. It is universal, it is pure love, good will for all. There is no negativity in it. Retired to sleep at 9.15pm.
26.03.11, Saturday: Morning program was the same upto 9 am. From 9.15 am, Goenkaji conducted a session of Mitta sadhana in which we pray for the welfare of all. Saw a documentary on the opening ceremony of World Pagoda Hall by the President of India in 2009 in Mumbai. It was anchored by Sh.Subhash Chandra, owner of Zee Tv. In the afternoon again we did Mitta sadhana. Goenkaji said that if our mind was equanimous we were bound to feel subtle sensations. In the evening discourse he summarized the content of the course. He said that one had to take refuge in triple gems : Buddha, Dhamma and Sangh. One has to take refuge in Dhamma in oneself. Dhamma is law of nature and universal. Sheel , Samadhi and pragya are the practical aspects of Dhamma. Interacted with other sadhaks . One is from Switzerland, one from Sweden and quite a few from other overseas countries. One is MBA from Ahmadabad, one a professor Emeritus of the Institute of Informatics, one an author, one a physician, one a retired sale tax commissioner and quite a few are businessmen. Kiran Bedi visited the Vipassana Center today. Could not meet her.
I did not advance much in meditation this time, perhaps due to inability to fulfill Adhistan of one hour each during group sittings. Some of the Dhamma sevaks were discourteous. I brought it to the notice of teacher. Retired to sleep at 9.30 pm.
27.03.11, Sunday : After Mitta sadhana, we took breakfast and left the center. Visited MP Bej Baruah and Neha/Bablu at Gurgaon on way back from Sohana. Retired to sleep at 10pm.
After a mini meal of Khichdi , a glass of milk and a banana at 6pm, the briefing for the course was done by a Dhamma Sevak with the help of an audio tape. I did not take khichdi as I was on ekadashi fast. Venita had given some cutlets made of sabudana, ground nuts with sendha salt. I took only a glass of milk and banana. The briefing centered round rules of the Ashram. Observance of complete silence was emphasized and other details of rules regarding our living in Ashram, were explained. After the briefing we were given seat numbers in Dhamma hall. We occupied them by 8pm. Goenkaji’s briefing started thereafter through an audiotape. He explained the process of ‘Ana Pan’, that is, incoming and outgoing breath, awareness of the same. The mind, which goes here and there has to be brought back by constant effort to the observation of the breath. The process sharpens the mind. Goenkaji advocated surrender to Buddha (Bodhi in us), Dhamma (The law of nature) and Sangha (The company of liberated individuals/saints), which were termed as 3 gems of the existence. The discourse ended at 9 pm. We retired to sleep at 9.30pm.
17.03.11, Thursday: We started meditation at 4.30 am. Goenkaji’s discourse started at 5.50 am continued till 6.30 am. He explained as to why it was necessary to observe the breath. Breath is a bridge between body and mind. The observation of it leads to the realization of truth as also the ultimate truth. After breakfast, we had group meditation from 8am to 9am. Goenkaji further explained the process of Ana Pan. From 9 am to 10.15 am, he advised the old students (me too) to shorten the area of observation of breath over the upper lip and below nostrils. The thinner the breath (and of course awareness of it) the sharper will be the mind. But at no time we should loose sight of it. He invoked us to fulfill the 10 Parmiks regularly ( I have given details of these Parmiks in my note dated 13.03.09 on Vipassana I ). They will ultimately lead us to complete liberation from the miseries of life. In the evening discourse he again reiterated the importance of observing the breath. Retired to sleep at 9.30pm after a meditation of about 12 hours: 4.30-6.30am, 8-11am, 1-5pm, 6-9pm(including video taped discourse of Goenkaji) .
18.03.11, Friday: The same routine. Watching the breath. Today I had some pain in the waist when I got up at 4 am, but it disappeared after 4.30 am, when I started meditation. Such is the nature of these evanescent sensations. Goenkaji tells us not to react to such sensations. Observe them and slowly they will disappear. In the evening discourse Goenkaji emphasized the need to observe the breath inside the nostrils and in the area below the nostrils and above the upper lip to know about any sensations there. If there are no sensations we are advised to continue observing the breath inside the nostrils. Retired to sleep at 9.30 pm.
19.03.11, Saturday: The routine was as before. When I was walking to the Dhamma hall at about 8 am, I saw a peacock dancing with its multi-colored feathers in a semi circular way around itself in fullness on the roof of pagoda. The audience to the dance of the peacock consisted of two she peacocks and one peacock. The dancing peacock was at the lowest roof of the pagoda, the she peacocks were on one layer above it and another peacock on the layer just below the top of pagoda. It was misty at 8 o’clock in the morning with the light spread of about 9 watt bulb. One of the two she peacocks was watching the show with rapt attention and total infatuation and the other was trying to open her feathers to copy the peacock. She peacocks do not have large feathers. The peacock near the top of the pagoda was watching with its tilted neck, not just quite happy with the attention the dancing peacock was getting from the two she peacocks. I had to rush to Dhamma hall to join in the group meditation at 8 am. I don’t know what happened to the dancing peacock later. I got engrossed in meditation. It is said that during the dancing of the peacock a foam like substance comes out from its mouth. After it has fallen on the ground it is pecked by the she peacocks. They lay eggs for new life after sometime. I could not concentrate well in the meditation till about 11am including for about 2 hours in the allotted cell of the pagoda. In the afternoon Goenkaji advised to stop breath for half a minute and then see if there were any sensations in the area between nostrils and the upper lip. I tried this. I felt a kind of coolness which was usually not felt. In the evening discourse Goenkaji said that during Vipassana meditation, i.e., meditation for wisdom, 3 truths came to our knowledge, i) Truth of change, ii) Truth of impermanence, iii) Truth of no solidity : only waves of vibrations. Retired to sleep at 9.30 pm.
20.03.11, Sunday : Today is Holi. People play it with colors. Nothing here. Since yesterday I am hearing drum beats with occasional shouts of people: “Holi Hai”. Today also it continued. For good reasons we are not allowed to go outside. There is complete maun. Today as before we practiced Ana Pan, watching the breath inside the nostrils and in the are above the upper lip and below nostrils. I was unstable throughout today during the practice of Ana Pan. Later in the afternoon Goenkaji introduced us to the technique of Vipassana. He took away our mind from the area between upper lips and nostrils to watch sensations in different parts of the body. In this technique we start observation of the sensations from the top of the head (Bramhand) to entire skull, to different parts of the face, to the right shoulder to upper arm to elbow to lower arm to wrist to palm and fingertips. Thereafter we watch the sensations in the same sequence starting from the left shoulder, then from throat to the chest, to abdomen to right thigh to knee to leg to ankle to heel to fingers and with the same sequence in the left leg also. Thereafter from neck to upper back to lower back to waist and other lower parts of the body. While observing the various parts of the body we have to observe various kinds of sensations and know them. Where no sensations are seen we should stop for a minute and then go to other parts of the body as per sequence. There are sensations in every part of the body all the time. The cells of the body are creating and destroying and in the process vibrating and generating a sensation. Change is taking place every moment. There is no permanence. According to Goenkaji , this knowledge will lead us to non attachment. Change is the Dhamma and law of nature. Retired to sleep at 9.15 pm.
21.03.11, Monday : Even today the songs continued in the air keeping tempo of Holi high in the vicinity. No celebration or even talk of Holi in the Ashram. All of us are observing total silence which is called Arya maun. The routine was as usual. Vipassana meditation is practiced by all. I am now quite comfortable in its practice. The time would pass so quickly. Due to some strain in the left knee area in course of Bajra Asan at Delhi sometime back, I had to go for rehabilitation about 3 months back, take exercises and wax bath of the knees for over 2 months. There was no pain after this. But I cannot complete Adhisthan of one hour here sitting without movement due to lingering pain after half an hour in the left knee. The pain has appeared again due to sitting for about 13/14 hours in meditation. I had no problem in meditation for one hour without movement at home. But here hours are much more. I requested the teacher to allow me to sit in the chair for Adhisthan period of meditation during 3 group sittings, but he did not allow. He said I should have taken the chair at the beginning of the course as some others had done. I said I did not require it on a regular basis. Now I find it difficult to sit in one position without movement and that I wanted chair only for 3 periods during the 3 group sittings and not for other hours, but he did not allow. I had no alternative but to carry on without observing Adhisthan as ordained by Goenkaji and do it as much as I could without difficulty. He said that if he allowed me to sit on the chair for the fulfillment of Goenkaji’s command for Adhisthan, it will be tantamount to mixing water with milk. I did not understand the meaning of the proverb. In the evening discourse Goenkaji explained the four noble truths, i.e., there is misery, there is cause of misery, there is method to do away the misery and the Ashtang marg. Vipassana is technique by which anyone can get rid of misery by developing equanimity.
The teacher told on my query that there were 3 compilations of Buddha Vani. One is meant for bhikshu, the second contains sutras which are recited by Goenkaji during his briefing and discourses and the 3rd contains discourses in various matters such as kinds of minds etc. The 3rd compilation is known as Abhidhan Pitek. It gives description of details of 121 kinds of mind and 51 kinds chitta vritiyan. Goenkaji said these could broadly be grouped into four: Cognizance, Recognition, Evaluation and Reaction. We were also told to practice Vipassana from right foot and then from the left, to abdomen to chest to right hand and then left hand, and then from throat to face to head in this sequence, then from waist to back to neck, and thereafter from head to toes and toes to head. Retired to sleep at 9.30pm.
22.03.11, Tuesday : The routine was as before. Unless I can observe sensations, pulsating the entire body I have not achieved what the practice should lead me to. I get the subtle sensations but not the flow of them throughout the body or part of it. However on 20th I felt a flow of warmth all over the body. In course of the discourse, Goenkaji said that there should however be no craving for a sensation. If the sensation is there in any part of the body, we should go to other parts of the body and so on so forth. Retired to sleep at 9.30pm.
23.03.11, Wednesday: The routine was as before. In the discourse Goenkaji talked about five friends. Yesterday he had talked about five enemies. I have given details of these in my previous Vipassana notes of 2009 and 2010. Retired to sleep at 9.30pm.
24.03.11, Thursday: The routine was as before. In his discourse, Goenkaji said that if your mind was equanimous, you were bound to feel the subtle sensations. Retired to sleep at 9.30pm.
25.03.11, Friday: The routine was as usual. Today a new technique of meditation was enunciated. It is known as ‘Bhang Gyan’. In this you mentally pierce through the different parts of the body and feel the sensations inside, so much so that you feel that there are only vibrations and no solidity in the body. Mind and matter dissolve. But when some old sensations come up , then again we loose sight of the experience. They put a curtain on them. If we keep ourselves equanimous then the ‘sanskars’ dissolve. We have to continue the meditation to get to know the sensations in each part, the flow of sensations in parts or full body and finally Bhang Gyan. But in each state we have to keep ourselves equanimous. The purpose is to know the ultimate nature of mind and matter, which is changing and in the process to keep our equanimity to rid ourselves of the main causes of the miseries of life : craving, aversion and attachment. These are there in us in the form of ‘sanskars’. These have to be eradicated by knowing the true nature of mind and matter. The world around us is a replica of our body and mind. It is also changing every moment. When you are in the process of meditation you get to realize the ultimate truth: which is Dhamma or law of Nature. It is universal, it is pure love, good will for all. There is no negativity in it. Retired to sleep at 9.15pm.
26.03.11, Saturday: Morning program was the same upto 9 am. From 9.15 am, Goenkaji conducted a session of Mitta sadhana in which we pray for the welfare of all. Saw a documentary on the opening ceremony of World Pagoda Hall by the President of India in 2009 in Mumbai. It was anchored by Sh.Subhash Chandra, owner of Zee Tv. In the afternoon again we did Mitta sadhana. Goenkaji said that if our mind was equanimous we were bound to feel subtle sensations. In the evening discourse he summarized the content of the course. He said that one had to take refuge in triple gems : Buddha, Dhamma and Sangh. One has to take refuge in Dhamma in oneself. Dhamma is law of nature and universal. Sheel , Samadhi and pragya are the practical aspects of Dhamma. Interacted with other sadhaks . One is from Switzerland, one from Sweden and quite a few from other overseas countries. One is MBA from Ahmadabad, one a professor Emeritus of the Institute of Informatics, one an author, one a physician, one a retired sale tax commissioner and quite a few are businessmen. Kiran Bedi visited the Vipassana Center today. Could not meet her.
I did not advance much in meditation this time, perhaps due to inability to fulfill Adhistan of one hour each during group sittings. Some of the Dhamma sevaks were discourteous. I brought it to the notice of teacher. Retired to sleep at 9.30 pm.
27.03.11, Sunday : After Mitta sadhana, we took breakfast and left the center. Visited MP Bej Baruah and Neha/Bablu at Gurgaon on way back from Sohana. Retired to sleep at 10pm.
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